Kate Yeo

Life update: I’m currently on exchange at Keble College in Oxford, England! Hard to believe I’m already halfway through my time here… the Oxford terms are incredibly short (eight weeks) and I’m trying to hold on to every moment of it, but it feels like time is just slipping away.

I came into Oxford thinking it’d be pretty chill, to be honest. After all, it’s ‘only’ two classes, two hours of tutorial a week, and it’s pass-fail. I’d even made all these grand plans to travel around Europe—Barcelona! Paris! Lisbon! Silly me…. The workload here has been insaaaane. I’m in two Politics classes, which means I have to read (skim) at least ten books and write two 2,000 word essays each week. That’s 16 essays in 8 weeks, whereas at Dartmouth I write maybe 4 full essays in 10 weeks, at most.

My first essay was put together after nearly 24 hours hunched over my desk with my eyes just glued to my books… That obviously wasn’t sustainable—plus it wasn’t even a good piece of work. Over the weeks I’ve learnt to pace myself, which means setting ONE day aside to write an essay instead of stressing over it throughout the week. When I get not-so-positive comments on my work, yes it still kills a part of me inside but I pull myself out of it after a few minutes – then just do my best to apply the feedback for my next essay. My goal now is to chip away and make some progress each week, rather than to be on my A game 100% of the time.

What I’m trying to say is, I’ve decided that I don’t want this term to just be an academic experience. I mean, when else am I going to get an opportunity like this? Honestly I just feel incredibly lucky to be here and I want to explore all that Oxford has to offer. So far, that has looked like walking around town with friends, attending guest talks, going for formal dinners and bops (Oxford lingo for parties), and making the effort to meet new people. I got to hear Craig Mokhiber speak at my first ever Oxford Union debate, which was just unreal. Also, the other day I surprised myself by cold-knocking on my dorm neighbour’s door to introduce myself—he was super friendly and we got lunch after! And yesterday, I decided to make a day trip to London despite having an essay due. Tl;dr I’m letting myself live a little!!! And honestly it’s been a blast. Of course I still spend a lot of my time here studying, but that’s really not a bad thing. I’ve enjoyed exploring Oxford’s libraries (THEY’RE SO BEAUTIFUL), studying with friends, and I truly am learning so much :’) My classes here have pushed me to think and write in far more rigorous ways than I’m used to.

Academics aside, in many ways Oxford feels strangely familiar to me. No doubt because English is my native language, but I think also because there’s so many Singaporeans here. I can crash a friend’s apartment for dinner or take an hour-long train ride to London to hang out with secondary school classmates. I can whine about how much I miss kaya toast without having to explain what that is, and I can say ‘eh’ ‘lah’ ‘bojio’ without getting side-eyed!!! Oxford—the town itself—is just the right size for me. Not too large and chaotic (though there’s a mall if I want a taste of busy city life), there’s decent Asian food, there are cafés I can spend my day at (and all have vegan options!), and it still retains some of its quaint, historic personality.

Which brings me to Dartmouth. Yesterday morning I told my sister “I honestly don’t miss Dart…” To be honest, Dartmouth has rarely felt like home to me. I’m grateful for the friends I’ve made there, but I’ve never truly felt like I belong. For one, there’s a subtle pressure to conform and sound American. And even then people always comment on my accent. (“Why do you sound British sometimes” “What do people speak in Singapore? Your English is so good!”) At first it was okay, but it got tiring after the tenth or so time. Also, everyone expects you to have an opinion about Trump vs Biden, but there is so little conversation about politics (or anything, really) outside the US. You will not believe the number of times I’ve had to explain that Singapore is so much more than just chewing gum bans and the death penalty. As much as Dartmouth says they want to help international / FGLI students / students of colour feel included, their union-busting efforts, poor retention of BIPOC staff and faculty, and the Western-centric nature of classes all say otherwise. In essence, the school often feels like one big, white, wealthy bubble tucked away from the rest of the world. Not just metaphorically; Dart is quite literally in the middle of the woods. There are no weekend getaways unless you’re willing to pay $80 for coach tickets to Boston, which is the closest major city—and that means sitting on a bus for six hours, round-trip. Sometimes all I want is to eat proper Chinese food (not General Tso’s) and goof around with friends and rant about things happening in Singapore…

Don’t get me wrong. I still appreciate Dartmouth for the opportunities and resources it offers. I love, love the friends I’ve made there and I’ve met some of the most wonderful professors. But I see the College more as a ‘pit stop’ in my life, rather than a place I feel rooted in. After nearly three years, I’m still learning to feel comfortable at the Big Green.

Of course the grass is always greener on the other side. My experience at Oxford has very much been shaped by the fact that I don’t have to take exams here; I don’t think I would be able to survive three years of this academic rigour. I have just slightly over a year left at Dart and still plan to seize every moment of it! I head back to the US for my junior spring at the end of March, and I’m curious to see how my experience there will change especially now that I’ve settled into a far different routine on exchange. For now though, I’m going to enjoy Oxford as best as I can :’)